Today (Day 24) was the day we went home on the last round but we won’t be going home for at least a couple more days. We were prepared for a longer stay as they had told us that this round would be more intense but the homesickness is really setting in.
It’s been another rough day. She started out by throwing up around shift change. She got some Zofran and started to feel better.
We are so ready for her to feeling better. She started the morning (right at shift change which seems to be her routine) by throwing up. She had been a little restless but wasn’t really acting like she was sick…
She was already connected to the IV for her prophylactic antibiotics so they got some Zofran to run right after the antibiotics finished. Now she’s sleeping peacefully in my lap. My hopes for a shower are fading as she is clinging to me as she sleeps.
Her nurses have been so nice and keep coming to check up on her. Everyone can tell she isn’t feeling well at all. I found out that her ANC was back to zero last night so that’s probably part of why she isn’t feeling good. Right now her counts are what are keeping her here so we’re praying they come up soon so she feels better.
She did eat a good breakfast and lunch but dinner is just not going well.
I went downstairs for a few minutes after lunch. She had been doing well and was taking a nap but as soon as I walked in she wanted me to get her up.
She was fussy and didn’t want her cookie or any snacks. She just wanted to nurse and snuggle. I think her teeth are bothering her too.
Our dinner tray came and I thought she would want to eat. We had a sweet potato on the tray but she wasn’t interested in it at all.
She got some Tylenol when her nurse came to hook up her antibiotics and seems to have helped her a bit. I ate a bit of dinner but she wasn’t too happy with the way we were sitting so I closed up everything and snuggled up in the chair with her.
She started throwing up again and it seemed to make her feel better to get it out. She has been peeing good so she has been taking in enough milk to keep up with what she’s throwing up so far. Chemo is awful, watching your baby puke and puke is awful when you can’t do anything to help. I think all this vomiting probably played a part in the hernia she has as well. I’m just praying she feels better soon.
This is so hard to watch her going through this. I’m thankful that we have more good days than bad days but the bad days seem to be worse this time around.
They gave her some Zofran and she seems to be settled down for a bit. I put her in her crib so I could clean up our room… we had puke bags, used wipes, and lots of other stuff all over the place. I also took a bathroom break while she was playing.
I’m also going to try to pay a few bills from my phone because the bills don’t stop during a crisis… life continues on even though it feels like we are sitting still here.
It’s a surreal feeling to see everyone else going on about their lives and enjoying every day life, celebrating with family and friends, and just ‘getting back to normal’ while we are here just trying to get through the day without puking or spiking a fever… waiting for her counts to recover so we can have a few nights in our own beds. I know this is just a season and we’ll get past this but right now, in the midst of it, it’s exhausting and overwhelming at times… please pray for strength and endurance to get through this.
Enough of the gloomies… I’ll be giving her a CHG wipe down when they bring in her Bactrim. Then I’ll get her ready for bed and get cozy in the chair so we can snuggle together. Her puke bags and wipes will stay within arms reach… praying we don’t need them anymore today though.
Don’t worry… I’m not depressed or anything just being honest. Cancer sucks, chemo sucks, being away from our family sucks! This is a journey we didn’t choose but we’ll get through this one way or another with the love and support from our family and friends.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers! We love you all.
We hope everyone has a great Independence Day weekend!